Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Stages of life through change

Napag-usapan sa LTS namin kanina ang stages of life na napapansin through changes. :)

It has been a year since
1. natapos kami ni Herdie (as if naman hindi pa alam ng lahat!)
2. akala ko may magsstart ang kay pero natapos din (sad. napanaginipan ko s'ya. =[ )

CELEBRATE! lol. Joke. :))
Parang tanga eh. :))


First, I realized that after our break-up I had been more honest with other people. I say what I feel at the moment I feel it. Sad thing is, sometimes (or most of the time), what I feel is temporary and after a week, a day or an hour, I realize it isn't how I really feel.

Secondly, I wasn't ready for anything yet I did something. They say I'm more of the boy instead of the girl in a relationship. I'm scared of commitment. (oops, boys, sila may sabi nan! nooot me!) I'm just wondering, am I the only one like this? Ready na ba talaga kayo matali forever sa partner n'yo? I mean, sure? That's how you feel?

Third, I don't miss Herdie but I miss the presence. It's not lonely being single but I do miss the presence of a boyfriend. But, sure as hell, I am not ready for a second round...or third if you consider the first one, I sure don't.

Fourth, my pride is still... the same. Or worse, it went waaaay higher. Sometimes, it's harder for me to be honest with myself than to be honest with other people.

Fifth, it's not easy to move on even if the feelings are gone. Statement: I don't love him anymore. I don't feel the way I used to when I was madly in love with him. But I can't remove the worry whenever he does stupid things. I'm still attached to the standars he created. It sucks.

Sixth, whenever I get interested with someone and he pays the same attention I do, I lose my interest. This one I can't explain! (You are free to provide explanations if you wish)

Seventh, I am soooo freaking grateful for my friends! Their presence just makes me so satisfied... even for a moment. Because..

Eighth, people really has no satisfaction. It's human nature to want something else. Even for once you did feel this way.

Ninth, I'm not as mature as you or I think. Maybe, admitting these things can be considered mature but I think I don't feel that way. I'm still a kid. I need more experiences to be mature. People claim to be adults at my age, but I think the first step to maturity is admitting you not yet one. Admitting you have yet to discover a lot of things. The world, though small, has plenty of things hidden awaiting to be unleashed and seen.

Tenth, I really am not having a hard time making friends. :) And usually I don't make sense...every night, before I sleep, I ponder on the sensible things that happened that day.

And at the end of this all, I leave you this song:

Hand In My Pocket by Alanis Morisette

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket and in my pocket is a cross.
'Cause I may be very lost but I couldn't care less because I'm young and I can commit as many mistakes as I want.
'Cause experience is my best teacher so far.
'Cause I won't change for anyone but myself.
'Cause if you expect, you'll get disappointed.
'Cause all you can do is love me and accept me for who I am.

'Cause I know at the end of each and every day everything is going to be fine.

'Cause I pray and smile :)


Anonymous said...

babaan mo naman ang pride. basta magtira ka ng kaunti.

'wag munang mag-boypren! magpayaman ka muna! hehehe. :)

marami pang pwedeng gawin sa buhay. kung may dadating e goodluck sa'yo. enjoy enjoy enjoy.

o 'yung pride mo ha.

- tenco

judithsays said...

bababaan ko na nga eh :P